Shelltoon TV

My Oscar Picks/Predictions

Well, after a miserable performance last year with my list by attempting to give everything to Inglorious Basterds, I'm here to try again, and I can safely say this year is more spread out than last.

Best Picture

• 127 hours
• Black Swan
• The Fighter
• Inception
• The King's Speech
• The Kids are Alright
• The Social Network
• Toy Story 3
• True Grit
• Winter's Bone

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

• Javier Bardem (Biutiful)
• Jeff Bridges (True Grit)
• Jesse Eisenburg (The Social Network)
• Colin Firth (The King's Speech)
• James Franco (127 Hours)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

• Annette Bening (The Kids are Alright)
• Nicole Kidman (Rabbit Hole)
• Jennifer Lawrence (Winter's Bone)
• Natalie Portman (Black Swan)
• Michelle Williams (Blue Valentine)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

• Christian Bale (The Fighter)
• John Hawkes (Winter's Bone)
• Jeremy Renner (The Town)
• Mark Ruffalo (The Kids are Alright)
• Geoffery Rush (The King's Speech)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

• Amy Adams (The Fighter)
• Helena Bonham Carter (The King's Speech)
• Melissa Leo (The Fighter)
• Hailee Steinfeld (True Grit)
• Jacki Weaver (Animal Kingdom)

Best Achievement in Directing

• Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan)
• Joel & Ethan Coen (True Grit)
• David Fincher (The Social Network)
• Tom Hooper (The King's Speech)
• David O. Russel (The Fighter)

Best Original Screenplay

• Mike Leigh (Another Year)
• Scott Silver, Paul Tamasy, Eric Johnson, Keith Dorrington (The Fighter)
• Christopher Nolan (Inception)
• Lisa Cholodenko, Stuart Blumberg (The Kids are Alright)
• David Seidler (The King's Speech)

Best Adapted Screenplay

• Danny Boyle, Simon Beaufoy (127 Hours)
• Aaron Sorkin (The Social Network)
• Michael Arndt, John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton, Lee Unkrich (Toy Story 3)
• Joel & Ethan Coen (True Grit)
• Debra Granik, Anne Rosellini (Winter's Bone)

Best Cinematography

• Matthew Libatique (Black Swan)
• Wally Pfister (Inception)
• Danny Cohen (The King's Speech)
• Jeff Cronenweth (The Social Network)
• Roger Deakins (True Grit)

Best Art Direction

• Robert Stromberg, Karen O'Hara (Alice in Wonderland)
• Stuart Craig, Stephanie McMillan (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1)
• Guy Hendrix Dyas, Larry Dias, Douglas A. Mowat (Inception)
• Eve Stuart, Judy Farr (The King's Speech)
• Jess Gonchor, Nancy Haigh (True Grit)

Best Costume Design

• Colleen Atwood (Alice in Wonderland)
• Antonella Cannarozi (I Am Love)
• Jenny Beavan (The King's Speech)
• Sandy Powell (The Tempest)
• Mary Zophres (True Grit)

Best Sound Mixing

• Lora Hirschberg, Gary Rizzo, Ed Novick (Inception)
• Paul Hamblin, Martin Jensen, John Midgley (The King's Speech)
• Jeffrey J. Haboush, William Sarokin, Scott Millan, Greg P. Russell (Salt)
• Ren Klyce, David Parker, Michael Semanick, Mark Weingarten (The Social Network)
• Skip Lievsay, Craig Berkey, Greg Orloff, Peter F. Kurland (True Grit)

Best Editing

• Jon Harris (127 Hours)
• Andrew Weisblum (Black Swan)
• Pamela Martin (The Fighter)
• Tariq Anwar (The King's Speech)
• Kirk Baxter, Angus Wall (The Social Network)

Best Sound Editing

• Richard King (Inception)
• Tom Meyers, Michael Silvers (Toy Story 3)
• Gwendolyn Yates Whittle, Addison Teague (TRON: Legacy)
• Skip Lievsay, Craig Berkey (True Grit)
• Mark P. Stoeckinger (Unstoppable)

Best Visual Effects

• Ken Ralston, David Schaub, Carey Villegas, Sean Phillips (Alice in Wonderland)
• Tim Burke, John Richardson, Christian Manz, Nicolas Aithadi (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1)
• Michael Owens, Bryan Grill, Stephan Trojansky, Joe Farrell (Hereafter)
• Chris Corbould, Andrew Lockley, Pete Bebb, Paul J. Franklin (Inception)
• Janek Sirrs, Ben Snow, Ged Wright, Daniel Sudick (Iron Man 2)

Best Makeup

• Adrien Morot (Barney's Version)
• Edouard F. Henriques, Greg Funk, Yolanda Toussieng (The Way Back)
• Rick Baker, Dave Elsey (The Wolfman)

Best Original Song

• If I Rise (127 Hours)
• Coming Home (Country Strong)
• I See the Light (Tangled)
• We Belong Together (Toy Story 3)

Best Original Score

• A.R. Rahman (127 Hours)
• John Powell (How to Train Your Dragon)
• Hans Zimmer (Inception)
• Alexandre Desplat (The King's Speech)
• Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross (The Social Network)

Best Animated Feature

• How to Train Your Dragon
• The Illusionist
• Toy Story 3

 

So here's my list of oscar picks, which I guarantee is 100% wrong, because if I know the academy, it's all going to The King's Speech because of an astounding 12 nominations.

 

Time to Wrap up Winter

I don't know about you, but I am ready to wrap up winter, just like these ponies.

Updates to Shelltoon TV

Hello out there. A few updates to add. For those of you wondering why the site looks lame, I'm in the process of trying to update it to look a bit more professional and have its own sense of identity. I'm not exactly skilled in something like custom CSS, so I have to get tips and hints to make sure I don't break something big that renders Shelltoon TV unreadable.

I've also acquired a nice budget laptop that is capable of running Crysis, but it can't run it on the maximum settings. I tried, and it refused to get past the first loading screen, so now I need to turn the settings down until it CAN run, just so I can see what I'm capable of. I'm surprised the thing didn't explode after trying to run Crysis.

Why hasn't any new Kai-lan related content been posted to this blog? Well, yes, Ni hao Kai-lan is getting me more traffic than I'd ever imagine, but truth be told, I don't have anything new on it to talk about. Right now, it seems like Nickelodeon's priority one is to push Dora to no ends and force everybody to take a backseat because it's the show's 10th birthday. It's a sad day when even SPONGEBOB has to take a backseat to Dora. Also, I received conflicting rumors about the status of Kai-lan, that I'm going to believe it's going down the same path as Yo Gabba Gabba, Wubbzy, and many other shows as in they're going to keep it going, but quietly. Why else would you have trouble finding Kai-lan toys these days? I might go back and review some select episodes should I not have anything to review for the week, because I have a lot to say about the show I haven't said on here.

Why was there a dry spell on video game reviews? Truth be told, I'm having a hard time enjoying a lot of today's games, and I don't know why. Maybe I'm just too old school nostalgia goggles for some games. I still need to write a review for Alan Wake, which would detail why I lost interest in this game. It had a great premise, but it almost seemed to border on boring due to the severely repetitive nature. I'll get on that in due time. If you're looking for a Starcraft II review from me, it will be a while because I have other games I want to review.

So yeah, expect Shelltoon TV to change its look fairly soon.

Updates [MISC]

Just thought I'd post a few updates to the few that read this thing. I am considering upgrading to wordpress and getting my own domain. This is mostly to help increase my readers and maybe get noticed by somebody. The other reason is while Type Pad has been good to me, I can't do much to the layouts to make it seem like my own site.

I was also given a chance to see an advanced screening of Sony's Despicable Me, and while I can already say it won't compete with Toy Story 3 in the Oscar race, it certainly looks better than Dreamworks' Mega Mind. Despicable Me is a movie about a villainous father, which certainly sounds better than Mega Mind's long time rivals storyline.

I've been playing through Transformers: War for Cybertron, and I'm having a blast with it. I'll be sure to get a review of that up when I get the chance. I've never had this much fun with a Transformers game, single player AND multi player. It will help tide me over until Sniper: Ghost Warrior gets released.

So yeah, another uneventful moment in the life of Shelltoon.

Pay to Unlock Multiplayer [VIDEO GAMES][RANT]

(To unlock this character interaction, please pay $10.00)

They say that money never sleeps, and greed is good. If greed is good, why do publishers insist on trying to tackle the used game market by being greedy in a stupid way? For those of you unaware, a ton of publishers are starting to launch an all-out assault on the used game market. How are they doing this? They are charging people who buy used games to unlock multiplayer features.

I've stated that I disagree with Gamestop's policies of pushing used games, but to be honest, I disagree with this whole paying for features. What's next? You charge me $60 for a game, only give me one chapter, and make me pay $10 to unlock the next one?

I'm Suing You Because I Can't Read! [VIDEO GAMES][COMEDY]

(It said free DLC, why do I have to pay for it? What do you mean "read the fine print?")

Bioware and EA have been doing this thing with their software recently. If you buy the game new at any store, you are guaranteed free downloadable content (DLC) until a certain period of time. To get this DLC, you have to use a code contained inside the case, and this can only be used one time. After that, anybody who wants the DLC will have to pay for it. Now how does this relate to Gamestop and their cut-throat selling of used games?

In sunny California, a man named James Collins paid for a used copy of Dragon Age Origins. Why did he purchase a used copy and give money to the wrong person? He figured he could save a bit of money and get the downloadable content for free, as it is written on the back of the box. So what happened after that? He goes back to play the game, only to discover his DLC code has been used before, and he would have to pay $15 for the content he could have had for free if he bought the game new. The box clearly states that this DLC is free upon purchase, but this only applies to new retail copies. When he tried to return the game for a full refund, he missed his 7-day window to get all his money back. So now he's suing Gamestop for false advertising and tricking consumers into thinking this DLC is free.

... I'm sorry, I can't stop laughing here. I don't like Gamestop shoving used games down my throat, nor do I like their policies, but this isn't Gamestop's fault. It's Mr. Collins' fault because he failed to read the instructions included on the code's pamphlet. It's clearly stated the code can only be used ONCE. Usually when a game is used, it means the DLC code was most likely used. Also, the fact that he waited until that 7-day window expired to get a full refund? Usually when you buy a used game, they tell you about the 7-day window. Did he listen to that? Most likely not, because he figured that the DLC was as good as his. I would like to see Gamestop sink, but I don't want them to sink due to another person's failures. So Gamestop, this is odd coming from me, but stick it to James Collins.

QUICK!! SOMEBODY CALL JESSE VENTURA!! [INTERNET][COMEDY]

(FIND OUT WHAT THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW)

Ever heard of a cartoon called My Life as a Teenage Robot? No? Well, you've heard of it now. It was a cartoon on Nickelodeon that got its start on a program called Oh Yeah! Cartoons when it was known as "My Neighbor was a Teenage Robot." It was created by Rob Renzetti, and in 2003 it was picked up for a TV show. While the ratings were there, it took two years too long to get a season out, resulting in the show being too much of a money pit and resulting in the cancellation of the show before it could reach its potential. It's sad when something like this happens. Recently, the show has been on Nicktoons Network, and they are doing a thing called Clash of the Nicktoons. I guarantee that by the time you finish reading this your face will be buried into your palm.

Clash of the Nicktoons is basically the same thing as March Madness. You know, make your brackets, and see how well you do. Well, it seems that Teenage Robot had a lot of luck being paired up against Invader Zim. If you're not familiar with this, Invader Zim is a show that aired in the early 2000s about a failing Alien invader who lands on Earth in an attempt to conquer it. Due to a series of circumstances regarding parental groups and scheduling, the show was pulled before it could get anywhere near a third season of production. Despite all that, the ratings were good enough that it at least got on DVD. Now here's where Clash of the Nicktoons comes into play. Zim and Jenny went head to head, and fans voted for who they wanted to win. However, I don't think it was that easy, as it probably went fans pick who they THINK will win, and the decision is made some other way.

Basically, what happened was Jenny lost. So, how does the Teenage Robot fanbase take it? They scream conspiracy, fraud, farce, and any other word in the book I'm thinking of. The conspiracy is that Nickelodeon was doing whatever it takes to make sure MLaaTR didn't win the whole thing, and they put Zim through as a middle finger to the fanbase. If you do not believe me, then go to this blog post. Seriously? You guys are getting worked up about something as stupid as a popularity contest? OH MY GOD, CALL JESSE VENTURA!! IT'S A CONSPIRACY BY NICKELODEON TO KEEP MLAATR DOWN!! THEM NETWORK TYPE PEOPLE DON'T WANT ME TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS BEHIND THE SCENES!! Let's be serious now, what would MLaaTR winning this thing do? Would it tell Nickelodeon to make another season? No, it wouldn't. Everybody that worked on that show moved on to other cartoons, and I think they'd rather move on than go back. Would it prompt Nickelodeon to attempt a revival/reboot? No, because the show failed once, and a majority of the fans gave up on the show. 

MLaaTR fans, let me ask you this. Is this how you want to be portrayed?

My Choices for Oscar Winners [MOVIES][OPINION]

Well, the Oscars are on their way this year, and I have decided to say who I believe should win. Only in the categories I know of, so documentaries, shorts, and foreign films I will have to skip out on.

Best Picture - Inglorious Basterds

Best Director - Quentin Tarantino

Best Actor -Morgan Freeman

Best Actress - Sandra Bullock

Best Supporting Actor - Christoph Waltz

Best Supporting Actress - Mo'Nique

Best Adapted Screenplay - District 9

Best Original Screenplay - Inglorious Basterds

Best Animated Feature - Up

Best Cinematography - The Hurt Locker

Best Art Direction - Sherlock Holmes

Best Costume Design - Nine

Best Makeup - Star Trek

Best Original Song - Down in New Orleans

Best Sound Mixing - The Hurt Locker

Best Editing - Inglorious Basterds

Best Original Score - Up

Best Sound Editing - Star Trek

Best Visual Effects - District 9

You may notice I'm not predicting Avatar for visuals. I say this because District 9 had some of the most convincing CGI on a budget that was way less than half a billion dollars.

X Japan Ain't What it Used to Be! [MUSIC][RANT]

(X Japan? More like X Hide)

Once again, my writer's block has hit me. I was sitting here for a few hours trying to write a cohesive rant about how much I dislike the direction X Japan has been going, and I couldn't do it. I was writing this big rant about how much their new music is terrible, how much of a control freak Yoshiki has been since Taiji's departure, but it all ended up with me going back to the reason X Japan left a bad taste in my mouth, and it was pretending that Hide was still alive and milking his popularity and fame by printing his face all over every single thing on the face of the planet. I don't even have a problem with Hide, I feel as though he is irreplaceable, could you imagine a new Beatles album without John Lennon? There does come a time where you need to realize you can't bring him back and you either replace him and change your band name, or move on and do solo works.

Recently, X Japan got back together and Yoshiki built the song I.V. around Hide's demo works, much like The Beatles did with Free as a Bird by building the song around Lennon's demo works. However, while I thought I.V. was an okay song that felt it was lacking the spirit the band used to have when Taiji was still in the group, the video was nothing more than paying tribute to Hide by cutting to his guitar sitting there on a stand, and showing some video of him when he played live. Again, I have nothing against Hide, but was it really necessary to keep doing this? Oh, but if you think this is the worst they've done, it's not.

With the reunion, X Japan needed a new guitarist to take Hide's place, so who better than Sugizo of Luna Sea? Well, Sugizo isn't referred to as the fifth member, but the sixth member. I don't have a problem there, but in reality, he'd be the seventh member because Taiji was replaced when he left the band, and since then Yoshiki has almost adopted a behavior of "Taiji who?" However, when it comes to live, Sugizo isn't allowed to play certain parts because they MUST be played by Hide, nobody else is allowed to play his part. So is Sugizo really a part of the band, or is he just there to look pretty while Hide's solos are handled by audio playback? It's ridiculous, let Sugizo play them. If I had to guess what Hide is thinking in his grave, he's probably saying "Oh please Yoshiki, stop milking me and let him play my solos."

Honestly, this reunion has been filled with nothing more than regrets. A while back I had hoped the band members would get back together and make more music because I liked their music. The reunion happened, and from the illnesses the members suffer to the internal drama, I'm starting to wish the reunion didn't happen. We still plaster Hide's image all over X Japan live shows by not letting a new member play with the rest of the band because he's not Hide and shouldn't be playing Hide's solos. Oh well, I'll just listen to X Japan's stuff before Taiji left, because that was when the band had talent. Regardless, I'm sure some random Hide fan is going to step all over me thinking I'm tearing Hide apart, or some X Japan fanboy tells me how wrong I am, but this is about making money off of a dead man.

Sonichu [WEBCOMIC][REVIEW]

I've read a ton of web comics, and there's almost nothing out there worth reading. Sure, Penny Arcade may be funny, but for ever Penny Arcade, there's a Megatokyo, CTRL+ALT+DEL, or Dominic Deegan. Despite all this, there's one web comic out there that is the bane of existence. This web comic is so bad, it would probably make an actual comic like Countdown to Final Crisis look like a masterpiece! It's so bad, it's almost unreadable, and the only way I could bring myself to even read this thing was through a troll made audio book. Even then, you need to have a high tolerance for crap, and believe me, if I can endure the pain of Action 52, I can endure the pain that is the most original web comic ever, SONICHU. Sonichu is one of those fan creations where somebody takes Sonic and recolors him and tries to claim originality, but the author, Christian Weston Chandler, takes things too far by trying to claim he can turn it into a legitimate franchise.

First, let's get the author out of the way before I start the comic so you have a better understanding about what I'm dealing with. Christian Weston Chandler, aka Chris-Chan, lives within his own world where he can't do no wrong. He's 28 years old, jobless, mentally unstable, and as he describes himself a "virgin with rage." Chris-Chan does not have a basic understanding of how the world really works, and blames it all on the fact that he has Autism. Chris-Chan hates homosexuality as a whole and seeks to banish it by sending all homosexuals to reprogramming camps, or as he recently described it, injecting a vaccine that kills homosexuality. You may think I am making all this up, but I can assure you all this is 100% true and practically comes from himself. If you don't believe me, just look at the CWCki and see for yourself. Be warned though, it's not for kids. He honestly believes that Sonichu is profitable, but the reality is nobody would seriously touch Sonichu because they'd lose money and make absolutely no profit.

Sonichu's origin even shows that he's not an original character. Sonichu is born when Sonic the Hedgehog goes Super Sonic using the power of the Chaos Emeralds and through a set of bizarre, unexplained circumstances, crashes into a Pikachu. The two characters somehow fuse together forming Sonichu. Already, we're hit with the reason why he can't profit off of it, the character has no originality, it's a fusion of two existing characters from two separate companies, meaning that Sega and Nintendo will be in a huge legal battle forever over the rights. Rosechu's origin isn't described all that well, but basically it's a fusion of Amy Rose from Sonic the Hedgehog, and a Raichu from Pokemon. Rosechu is pink, and her favorite hobbies are gossiping, shopping at the mall, having sex with Sonichu, and stripping nude for womens' rights. I wish I were making this stuff up, but I'm not. Sonichu amounts to nothing more than another Mary Sue because he can do anything at any given moment, and gain a new power when the situation calls for it. Rosechu is nothing more than Chris-Chan's image of an ideal wife. If this is his image of an ideal wife, he's screwed himself over too many times.

As for the comic itself, it's full of many problems that make the really bad stuff Linkara has reviewed look like works of Shakespeare. Aside from the Mary Sue characters, it suffers from what I like to call "too many characters syndrome." In a typical work, there are a few select characters that will have some kind of importance to the main character, but in Sonichu there are about 700 secondary characters that you won't care about because they are not important to the plot or the main characters. Like Sonichu, they pull powers out of nowhere and are so strong that they make Superman look like some average joe on the street. Like Rosechu, they exist only as objects of Chris-Chan's real life desires to find a boyfriend-free girl. Most of these secondary characters are based on people in his life. Look at me, I've been going on for hours about the characters and I haven't even touched the individual comics themselves!

Chris-Chan has described Sonichu as being a G-rated comic, so it's supposed to be kid friendly. Sonichu and Rosechu are sexually attracted to one another, and in one comic he actually shows the two having sex. You know, for kids! The actual story itself deals with Sonichu and Rosechu stumbling upon artwork that makes fun of the two and is drawn much much better than the comic itself, and they go to the source. An office building called 4-cent Garbage, a reference to 4chan where Chris-Chan became the famous troll-bait he is, gets raided by Sonichu and Rosechu. Most of the comic is just Sonichu and Rosechu commenting on how bad the artwork is for reasons I am not at liberty to describe, it needs to be seen for itself. At the end of this comic, Rosechu fights the evil troll leader Jason Kendrick Howell, and she defeats him by stripping herself naked and rubbing her genitalia into Jason's face until he suffocates. The rest of the Rosechus celebrate their victory over 4-cent Garbage by stripping nude. I am not making this up, this is by a guy who says he's all for womens' rights. 

Another comic deals with a more recent incident where Chris-Chan went completely insane. When Chris lost his Youtube account, he opened another one called IBAChandler. Chris posted this video where he attempted to say he was trolling us all along, and some random guy came in and claimed himself to be Chris-Chan, and is known to the community as Liquid Chris. What's hilarious about this is Liquid Chris trolled Chris-Chan so hard, that Chris-Chan makes a comic expressing how he feels. Basically the story is Chris-Chan goes to Liquid Chris' run down apartment to save his future girlfriend Kacey from Liquid Chris. Chris-Chan brings a gun, and shoots Liquid Chris in the legs, with Kacey and her family saying how proud they are of Chris-Chan and Liquid Chris was a geeky twerp. This comic is for kids, right? There are more stories, but I wanted to pick these two so you can get an idea of what is in his head, and they're the only two that are famous. Most of the comic involves killing cops, and that's considered an act of heroism in CWCville.

The artwork practically speaks for itself. This guy is 28 years old, and he has the artistic talent of a child with no formal training. I'm not trying to say children aren't talented, I'm trying to say he still draws like an 8 year old. He uses pencil, and crayola marker, then scans his work in. The real problem however is Chris is unable to show any form of action in his comics, and instead resorts to text walls because he's too lazy to draw anything that would require skill. There are no backgrounds at all, and any time Chris tries to depict action scenes, it's so hard to follow that I get a headache trying to figure it out. This comic is also infamous for having insanely large amounts of text that make absolutely no sense. Sometimes the text is so long, it takes up 90% of the page! Like the action, it's too hard to follow because dialogue balloons pop up EVERYWHERE and the order is so random, it's amazing. Oh, and the best Chris can do for witty dialogue is a failure in itself, but here's an example. One of the cops tells Chris "You're going down," and Chris responds "Down to where? All that is down is the floor." If Chris really believes he owned that cop with that line, he's sorely mistaken.

THIS COMIC SUCKS! Sorry Linkara, but I have to end this one the same way you end yours. Sonichu is nothing more than Chris' fantasy world come to life. Women are seen as nothing more than objects of sexual desire, mall security guards are considered the ultimate evil, and killing cops is considered heroic. The characters are so uninteresting that I'd find G.I. Joe to be a work of genius. I could go on for hours about this, but this review has become nothing more than an excessive giant wall of text that would take up too much space in a Sonichu comic. Chris, if you're reading this, I am not taking this TRUE and HONEST review down.